Thanking the critic instead of fighting it

A harsh inner voice can be exhausting, but a blog cannot establish why it is present or what support is right. Self criticism may be connected with shame, anxiety, low mood, trauma, experiences of harm, work pressure or many other circumstances. For some people, it can be useful to ask what the critical voice fears would happen if it stopped. This is not an instruction to accept every thought as true, revisit trauma alone or continue if reflection increases distress. A fuller assessment can consider safety, health, context and the person’s access needs. If therapy is considered, a clinician may explore whether compassionate imagery, behavioural experiments or a different approach is appropriate. Such work should be planned together with attention to consent and pace. It is not a self directed test from an online article. Responsibility can include repairing something, setting a boundary, asking for help or making a practical plan. Punishment tends to turn a difficult moment into evidence that a person is wholly inadequate. It can be useful to notice what happens before and after criticism, such as overworking, withdrawal, reassurance seeking or a loss of pleasure. These observations do not prove a cause, but can make a conversation about support more specific. If reflection brings up traumatic memories, hopelessness, thoughts of harm or an inability to stay safe, stop the exercise and seek appropriate urgent support. Therapy is not intended to make someone more tolerant of harm or mistreatment. For related education, see the compassion focused therapy self criticism guide and the Clinical Guides library. The Lyceum offers CBT based support in Chiswick, Ealing and the Richmond venue, as well as online where clinically appropriate. If there is immediate danger, a risk of harm or urgent medical or mental health need, use an appropriate emergency, crisis or healthcare service.