The trust that trauma took

Specialist CBT therapy for anxiety, OCD, depression and more in West London

Trust can feel different after experiences that left someone frightened, controlled, dismissed, betrayed or repeatedly unsupported. A person may notice themselves scanning for danger, wanting reassurance, withdrawing from closeness or expecting a relationship to end badly. They may be surprised by how strong those reactions feel, especially when a present relationship appears caring on the surface. These reactions deserve curiosity rather than blame. They do not automatically prove that someone has trauma related difficulties, that another person is unsafe or that a relationship should end. Relationship history, attachment, grief, current stress, health, communication patterns, discrimination, practical pressures and safety can all matter. A blog cannot know which explanation applies to an individual. An assessment can explore what happens in particular situations. For example, is the person trying to predict rejection after a disagreement, replaying a message, testing a partner’s affection, avoiding an important conversation or shutting down when they feel criticised? The purpose is not to label a behaviour as bad. It is to understand what it may be trying to protect and what impact it is having. Sometimes the most important question is safety. If a person is experiencing coercion, threats, violence, intimidation or control in a current relationship, the priority is not to work on trusting more. They may need specialist domestic abuse, safeguarding, legal or practical support. Therapy should not be used to encourage someone to remain in an unsafe situation. Where CBT is appropriate, the work can be collaborative and paced. We might consider the relationship between thoughts, body responses, emotions, urges and actions, and agree a plan that respects the person’s boundaries. Any behavioural work is planned in therapy with consent, context and review. It is not a self directed instruction to disclose private information, ignore warning signs or force closeness. Progress can be subtle. It may look like understanding a trigger with less shame, noticing a response sooner, identifying a boundary, asking for support or making a decision that better fits the person’s values and safety. It cannot be guaranteed, and it does not need to follow a neat timeline. If someone is in immediate danger, cannot keep themselves safe or is at risk of harm from another person, they should call 999, attend A&E or contact urgent crisis support. For non immediate concerns, an assessment led conversation can help clarify what support may be appropriate. For related information, read about <a href="/therapy/ptsd/">CBT for PTSD and trauma related difficulties</a> and the <a href="/guides/ptsd comprehensive guide/">PTSD clinical guide</a>. The Lyceum Clinic offers assessment led CBT online and in West London. A first conversation can help decide whether this support is appropriate and what other care may be relevant.