Sometimes a relationship becomes organised around worry, reassurance, avoidance, checking, withdrawal or the effort to prevent something difficult from happening. One person may feel responsible for keeping the peace, another may feel controlled or alone, and both may feel exhausted. These patterns can be painful. A blog cannot determine whether they reflect anxiety, a relationship problem, coercion, trauma, a practical risk, a health concern, a difference in needs or something else. It can be tempting to label a partner’s support as accommodation and assume that it is unhelpful. Context matters. Support can be caring, necessary, temporary, protective or difficult to negotiate. No article can decide what one person should stop doing, what another person should tolerate or whether a relationship is safe. An assessment can explore what happens between people, what each person is trying to protect, whether there are patterns of reassurance or avoidance, how communication changes under pressure, and what safety or practical issues need attention. It should not presume that either person is at fault, promise a relationship outcome or replace legal, safeguarding, medical or specialist relationship advice. CBT may be considered after individual assessment where appropriate. It is not a self directed instruction to withdraw reassurance, test a partner, force difficult conversations or expose someone to a feared situation. Where behavioural work is suitable, it is planned collaboratively with a qualified clinician and takes account of consent, safety, health, dependence and circumstances. Some people may benefit from individual therapy, couples work, a GP conversation, specialist support, independent advice, practical changes or time to understand what is happening. The most helpful next step will vary. Therapy cannot guarantee that anxiety will disappear, that trust will be restored or that a relationship will continue. For related information, see anxiety support at lyceumclinic.co.uk/therapy/anxiety/, the guide to reassurance and health anxiety at lyceumclinic.co.uk/guides/health anxiety reassurance cycle/ and the guide to difficult conversations and disclosure at lyceumclinic.co.uk/guides/mental health disclosure at work/. If there is immediate danger, coercion, a crisis, thoughts of self harm or an inability to keep safe, urgent appropriate help is needed.